Yesterday

The infusion went well.  They preloaded me double time on the benydryl.  Took 3 1/2 hours for the iron.  I managed to finish Catherine, Called Birdy It was light enough reading that even in a benydryl haze I could read it.    Came home and crashed for over two hours.  Woke up and hosted a den meeting for Ian's den.  Luckily the leader had it all planned out and all I had to do was execute.  A fabulous tortellini soup was delivered for dinner.  The family watched Merry Madagascar (lame) and the Biggest Loser.  Jammie time and a chapter of Ginger Pye.  Tuesday's are a write off for me these days.  One last infusion next week, hopefully I start to feel the perky it's supposed to give me.  I have an expansion appointment today.  Praying it doesn't force me back onto the pain meds.

Iron Drip

Today I get to sit in a recliner and receive this

into here

unfortunately I forgot to swing by the library and pick up a book so I will be grabbing something off the core 6 shelf.

A trip to the oncologist who is now my hematologist

I am cancer free.  I avoided or survived take your pick, but you won't find me wearing pink anytime soon :)
However we have finally addressed my anemia problem.  Basically right now my red cells suck.  I spent 3 and half hours on an iron iv today.  They tossed a little Benydryl and steroids in to make it fun and to stop the reaction I had, which was similar to me standing in a grassy field.  Nasal congestion, snot and a bit of wheeze.  Nothing alarming and nothing a second cocktail of Benydryl couldn't handle.   I will go back for the next two weeks for another iron drip.  Then back to the doctor right before Christmas to see if this worked.  I had a nice chat with a man battling pancreatic cancer.  Just so you know we are all in this fight against cancer together doesn't matter who you are, how old you are, whether you are in the middle of your cancer battle or avoiding the battle by eliminating the risk.  Pretty humbling to sit in there today JUST getting an Iron drip when a few months down the road it could have been a chemo drip.  Praising God for dodging this bullet.
In other exciting news I CAN DRIVE again!  Woohoo.  Celebrated with driving to a pack meeting for Ian's pack.
And in other news I cancelled my expansion for tomorrow and will get another one next Wednesday.  I just need some time off.  Only 1/2 a pain pill at night to take the edge off the sensations, and soreness.  I can see the last few pages of this chapter in my life and it feels good DANG IT!

Recovery isn't just all physical

I am struggling with my recovery.  The physical recovery is going fairly well.  Incisions are healed, feeling is returning, and scabs are falling off.  The muscle soreness is almost tolerable during the day but not at night.  I am struggling with the mental recovery.  3 weeks now I have had to let others serve me.  Now I don't say serve with an air about me, I say it because that is what others are doing for me.  But the downside to that is I'm tired of being a patient.  I want to be whole, off pain meds, able to sleep at night, able to drive to the store or anywhere else I want to go.  I want to cook for my family.  Please do not get me wrong, the people who have stepped up and taken care of us through rides, meals, visits, and errands have BLESSED us tremendously and I am not ungrateful.  I am just at the point in my recovery where I can do most things for myself but the few things that i can not do have an impact on my independence.  My goal this week is to get out of the house more (lets hope the weather cooperates).  I plan on canceling my plastic surgery appointment this week because I want to go on a 24 hour campout with my family.  I am able to go and it is within guidelines so don't go telling me to take it easy.  I can sit in camp chair and visit and go on a short hike.  I also have an oncology appointment tomorrow but I may have to cancel that as well due to the fact that I have bit of a sinusy thing going on.  No fever, no cough but man I would hate to be the one to cause a cancer patient illness.  I will evaluate my health before 5 pm and make the call then.
Just keeping it real.

Fill 'er up

Wednesday started the expansion part of my reconstruction.  I had 70ccs of saline injected into both expanders.  Needless to say I am back to the pain pills.  I am sore again and moving slow.  I was also back to the recliner but managed a two hour stint in the bed this morning so I think I will attempt the bed tonight.  John and Avery are headed out for a little father/daughter camping this weekend so I will have the bed to myself :)  Don't worry about us we have enough neighbors helping out if we need anything.
Life in general is going well.  I just would really like to be able to function normally.  I have a friend coming over and I am going to ask her to drive me to the grocery store since I still can not drive due to the pain meds.  I have stopped them today so we will see if I can make it on just Tylenol for the weekend.  Should be fine.

Clean and Clear

so says the pathology report :)