Saturday, October 29, 2011

October 21

This day marked two years since my double mastectomy at the hands of Dr L.  and the start of the reconstruction process by Dr S. Three months later all surgery would be complete.  One year following that I would have a final procedure to normalize my look.
Two years later I still struggling with the whys?, the what ifs?, the shaking of my head and the sobbing over what was lost.  On this day two years out I was serving some beautiful women on a weekend renewal.  I had asked my team to cover me in prayer because anniversary dates are difficult and I really didn't want to go down in a sobbing ball of messy while serving women.  I made it about halfway through the day without a thought to what the day meant in my history.  And then....I glanced up.  A simple black t-shirt with a large pink ribbon caught my eye and my breathing became shallow and the tears started pouring.  I quickly excused myself from the room and headed for fresh air.  I pleaded with God to make it short, this weekend wasn't about me and I didn't want it to turn that way.  A few of my team mates saw me hit the door and prayed for me.  The attack was blessedly short lived and did not reappear the rest of the weekend.
I learned a few things this past weekend.
1.God is present even when I am pushing Him away
2.Prayer is powerful
3. Good friends who pray are powerful
4. Pray now not later
5 Time does heal wounds but scars are always present.


CEZ said...

God has great plans for you. You have been changed to love more, live more and to be who god made you to be.. An awesome wife, mother, teacher and sister in Christ.

Lauren said...

Anniversaries are hard, but it sounds like you handled it like a champ! I'm glad you have good friends that surround you with prayer and support. Sometimes that is all we have.