I have decided to get off my butt. Two reasons really, mentally and physically. I have had a downward spiral in my physical well being since being laid up for 6 weeks and then scared to lift anything heavier than my laptop for a few more weeks than that. Then it was too chicken to start back at the gym lest I tear or pop something. I have no excuses now. I have been cleared by my plastic and my onc to get back to the gym. So I joined a little gym up the street with John. We've been twice in three weeks :) Need to work on that. I have also rededicated myself to tri training. I enjoyed biking 9 years ago when I first got in to tri's. Swimming for me is a given. So I am joining a tri training group, downloaded a Couch to 5K app, and have almost signed up for my first sprint tri in May.
Mentally I need this. I need a season of me time. I'm not gonna lie, I'm in a dark place right now. I need to get out of it. Part of it is what I have been through, not sure I ever fully processed what happened to me and I am now suffering for laughing my way through the pain. Homeschooling and parenting are overwhelming right now. Luckily the kids have switched to auto pilot and are keeping pace while I do what I can. John has stepped in also to ease my load. So for a season (hopefully a short one) I need to focus more on me. Is this selfish? Yes in the short term, no for long term. I need this. It isn't a want it is a need. I need to be healthy both physically and mentally and I have neither right now. I am on the road to recovery.......
