Monday, April 19, 2010

Getting off my Butt

I have decided to get off my butt.  Two reasons really, mentally and physically.  I have had a downward spiral in my physical well being since being laid up for 6 weeks and then scared to lift anything heavier than my laptop for a few more weeks than that.  Then it was too chicken to start back at the gym lest I tear or pop something.  I have no excuses now.  I have been cleared by my plastic and my onc to get back to the gym.  So I joined a little gym up the street with John.  We've been twice in three weeks :)  Need to work on that.  I have also rededicated myself to tri training.  I enjoyed biking 9 years ago when I first got in to tri's.  Swimming for me is a given.  So I am joining a tri training group, downloaded a Couch to 5K app, and have almost signed up for my first sprint tri in May.
Mentally I need this.  I need a season of me time.  I'm not gonna lie, I'm in a dark place right now.  I need to get out of it.  Part of it is what I have been through, not sure I ever fully processed what happened to me and I am now suffering for laughing my way through the pain.  Homeschooling and parenting are overwhelming right now.  Luckily the kids have switched to auto pilot and are keeping pace while I do what I can.  John has stepped in also to ease my load.  So for a season (hopefully a short one) I need to focus more on me.  Is this selfish?  Yes in the short term, no for long term.  I need this.  It isn't a want it is a need.  I need to be healthy both physically and mentally and I have neither right now.  I am on the road to recovery.......